Marriage: Part 2

The debate in this country over who has the 'right' to be married and who doesn't has created an uneasy divide.  Conservatives claim that it is a moral issue (which it is) and liberals claim it is a civil rights issue (which it also is).   As long as the government has their hands in this issue we will never find a middle ground or a resolution.  The government or any religious organization cannot legislate morality onto the populous.  

It wasn't until 1967  that the government legitimized interracial marriage with the Supreme Court ruling of Loving vs. Virginia. Refusing the rights of a gay couple to marry is no different. I do not believe that the government defines what marriage is. My marriage is not based on what the state of Texas has told me on my marriage license.  A highly centralized unit of power does not have the right to define what marriage is.  The fact that they do is coercion and violence. 

The Religious Right would argue that the Bible is clear on prohibiting homosexuality. I think that is a discussion that needs to take place on a larger scale. Rather than take a few verses out of their context and declare them absolute truth, we need to engage in  robust conversations within our faith communities.    

I'm not sure how we are to resolve  the anger and hatred on both sides.  I do not believe that enough constructive conversations are taking place in order to resolve this.  The one thing I'm sure of is that everyone needs to keep there cool and be civil through this whole process. Patience and discernment are key in times like these.

I will end with Andrew Sullivan's take on this issue. He says:

it is a bit like growing up in a big, old house. You're allowed to live there - in fact, you were born there and grew up there - but certain rooms are off-limits. "You can't go in there," the adults say, as soon as you learn to walk. "Or there," they remind you as you get older.  And you wonder why. But you're a good kid and don't want to make a ruckus, and it's your home too and your family, and they seem very insistent. After a while, they allow you to go up to the second floor and even third floor. There are rules there: don't touch that vase, don't put your feet on that couch, don't spill anything on that rug. But you can still hang out there if you really want to.

But there's one room at the very top of the house that has always been forbidden, and the more lee-way you are given elsewhere, the more stringently that rule is enforced. In the end, they say, "You can go anywhere and do anything - apart from that room." And you accept this, because they seem so intent on it. And you love them. But you keep wondering: why that room? What is up there? What am I not allowed to experience or to see?

And one day, you get up your courage and you wait till the adults are out and you gingerly make your way to that room you have never been in before.

And you go in, and look around, with some awe and burning curiosity. And you look in the cupboards and the drawers and under the chairs, and finally you find, in one dusty old desk, what they never wanted you to find.

You find the legal papers, the deed, that proves that they own the house. And you don't. However long you live, whatever you do, however you conduct yourself, this house will never be yours. You can live in it - with their permission, and under their authority. It is your home, because where else were you born and where else would you live - but only to rent, never to own. It is your family, but you are always kept one critical step away from being fully part of it. There is one fine line you will never be allowed to cross.

It is your country, but you are never fully a citizen. You can live here, but you can't vote. Your parents can die here, but you will never inherit this house.

We want to be citizens.

We want to be a full and equal part of our own homes and our own families and our own lives.

And some of us, having been in that room for a short while, know what it feels like.

And we will never, ever let it go.

What is the way forward?